That Bloody L word

If you had asked me a week ago how things were going with me you propbly would have gotten an extremely positive answer like

"The best it's ever been for me"
"Things are really finally starting to go my way"
"I LOVE LOVE LOVE him!!!!!"

But there its is that word. That word that we say so openly, too openly? Is love really something you can just give away like connfetti? can I honestly tell myself that at the age of 16, in my second serious relationship with a guy i've been going out with for nearly 3 months, who can wind me up to the point of explosion and then make me go all gooey and smiley and giddy and girly in the space of 1 text that I, Iona Anderson MacMillan am in love?

Don't get me wrong, he is an awesome guy and I "love" him to pieces. I think about him constantly and when I do I get a silly grin on my face (like even while writing this and thinking about his loveliness I've got that silly,goofy grin on my face!) But we had a pretty majour fall out at the weekend and then again tonight (Tuesday) and it's just made me think, are we in love?

From about 2 weeks after declaring ourselves officially bf and gf we'd told eachother that we loved one an other and the only arguments we had were over who "loved" who the most.But was it too soon to tell eachother this? can we know love at our age? Or do we just mistake it for other things like fancying, or shagability or that horrible word "crush." Can puppy love be simply love in a diffferent form? Or is puppy love pretend love? I keep asking myself these questions but I can't get a straight answer. If you had asked me a year ago I would have said no way, at 16? No way you haven't had enough life experience to know what it is.

Now I think, how does anyone,17 or 70, know what it is? It's not a physical subject that the facts and theories can just be memorised and tested on to make sure you know it like maths or chemistry or RE. Surely to know what love is you must have had to be in love? but then how do you know when you're in love.? When you think of romance one of the obvious plays you think of is Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. They would only have been 13/14 at the time yet there story is one of the greatest "love" stories ever written.

If love exists at all why is there so much hatered in the world??? How can a mother sit and watch her "lover" torture her own child so brutally and heartlessly that the 1 year old child died, alone, in agony in his own cot. That poor child never knew love. He knew hatered. Coldness. Torture.Loneliness. He knew pain like most adults have never felt. but never love. it's things like that that make me doubt if love does exist.

So do I love him? I can say it openly. I love him. In my head i think it's true. My heart doesn't have any thoughtwaves buy maybe if I listen real closely it can tell me....

Nope can't hear anything.

But hey! I'll find out sooner or later but for now we'll just have to take it 1 day at a time and see what happens. If we love eachother we'll get through the petty arguments and the important ones, if we're not the petty ones will destroy us.

thanks for reading my bletherings folk leave me a comments with your views on love and stuff.

Sorry miss I can't do the nab I'm afraid testing on children is against my religion!

GOD I WELL AND TRULY HATE 5TH YEAR!!
I swear this last couple of weeks have been so hectic! nab after pre prelim after pre pre prelims after November prelims after more nabs aaaarg seriously stressful and hurting my heed :(

• maths - did ok in the nab passed alll the outcomes so i was pretty chuffed but in the prelims I got 55% eek! passed just and no more!


• English- wooooooop passed the textual analysis and close reading delighted!


• Drama- passed the nab! surprising seeing as I told Grindy that testing was against my religion lmao


• Modern Studies- got Cs and Bs in all the essays so far so could be better but no official nabs or that yet


• French- utter fail! me n lynsey just sit in e corner and laugh at what shitty marks we got! she always gets better than me though, got a listening and personal response essay tomorrow and done sweet eff A for it so no wonder im failing lol!


• Chemistry- lets just not even go there!! utter utter fail, had a nab today and I don't think there was one answer I was confident I got right!!

so thats the score with school so far, it's extremely rubbish! I urge everyone NOT to take 6 bloody highers! it's just me and lynsey that are the silly ones that did!

Drama is so awesome just now though, we're studying "The House of Bernarda Alba" by Frederico Garcia Lorca, (A dead, spanish poof from like the 1920s or something!!) no seriously it's so awesome! theres this crazy granny that gets locked in the attic so that the neighbours don't see her! But sometimes she escapes and wants to run away and get married by the sea to a handsome young man lmao! and another time, she escapes she's carrying a lamb and saying that it's her baby and why can't she have a baby just because she has white hair and all her children and their children will have white hair lmao "Oujevita!!!! Child of mine" what crak we have espescially when grindy does the voice and makes her sound like Speedy Gonzales!!

Well the story is basically about this woman Bernarda Alba and her 5 daughters; Angustius (39) Magdalena(30), marterio(24), Adelia(27) and Adela(20)<----SLUUUT!! they live in Spain, just before the civil war where basically the women had no freedom at all, if they met a man they fell in love with they wouldn't be allowed to be alone with him, unless its was between the gratings of a window at night. And if an unmarried woman did get pregnant, she'd be brutally murdered on the street. So any adultery is a BIG no no!!

Anyway basically the huband/father dies and the women must spend 8 years mourning! They arent even allowed to go outside! The younger girls, espescially Adela can't stand it. The town heart throb Pepe El Romano has been coming to the eldest and ugliest Angustius's window everynight and has asked her to marry him but it's just because Angustius doesn't have the same father as the other girls, her father was Bernardas 1st husband. So Angustius is well loaded compared to the rest of them. However Pepe is secretly seeing Adela everynight to and they've been going and having a romp by the river in the rashes!!!!!! SCANDAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway to cut a short play shorter they all find out and Bernarda tries to shoot Pepe she misses, but tells Adela that she did so Adela goes and hangs herself....

Me and Alison are playin Adela woooop lol we own her ttly!!!!!!!!!!!!

Children in need tomorrow!! me and Nicolle are going in our riding gear loool get the whips dealt!!!!!

well im off now thanks for reading my rant folks!!

an introduction in to the scary world of Ixna XD

Hey Dudes, Dudettes, dudogs and doo doos =] im Iona and I think Im a bit loser ish to a cool degree. Im sixteen and livin it down in durran/back of beyond/over the hills and far away where the hillbillys come to play. 5 miles from castletown. 10 miles from thurso in caithness in the north of ochayeland. Its got its ups and downs i suppose we could do with some more shops and stuff but hey the people here make it a bit more exciting lol.

I'm in fith year of Thurso High which is sooooo stressful doing 6 highers. DO NOT DO 6 HIGHERS UNLESS YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. No seriously its not worth it. But I got a great bunch of people to get me through it: my awesom mates who know who they are <3,my supportive family and my super duper gorgeous prat of a boyfriend willy (jokes baby love you reely<3) these peolp are my world =]<3.

My main hobbies are horseriding,drama and annoying willy lmao :P. I got a great wee horsey called Izzy (see pic) she's totally awesom unless she's hormonal lol which usually happens around the time of interbranch grr. But hey when she looks at ya with those big dark eyes you can't help but love her =] She's ma girl, and mithers of course lol.

Well I suppose that's about it for just now so keep reading my bletherings guys =].

xx